What
Comes
After

A research library and writing project on what happens when the professions, systems, and structures we relied on to navigate life begin to dissolve — and what we build in their place.

What this is

Over the past six years I've been writing about care, time, media, and invisible labor in my newsletter, Time Spent. These questions became more vivid through motherhood, community life, and stepping away from career-centered work. Below is a research project in progress — each chapter contains the essays, books and interviews that are helping me investigate each question. When a chapter is complete, it will be available in print through Time Spent Press.

Chapter 01
What comes after birth?
Mothering as public practice

Becoming a mother changed the way I understand care — not as a domestic duty but as a form of knowledge. This chapter is about what happens to your identity, your body, your partnerships, and your sense of time when you take on the work of raising another person. It's about the transformation that most people are underprepared for and the books, frameworks, and community practices that actually help. It's also about the people who can't or don't become parents, and what that reveals about what we've made motherhood mean in the first place. I came to this question first through a long fertility journey, then through early motherhood itself, then through the realization that how we parent reflects everything we believe about belonging, care, and the good life.

Library
  • I picked this up because I have a very active, very vocal new toddler and wanted something grounding. As a child of immigrants, most of what I do intuitively as a mom isn't as American as I thought. Favorite framing — a child-centered life is actually unnatural in human history. The mechanism that makes cooperation possible is equanimity, not as a personality trait but as a practice.
  • Probably the best parenting book out there right now. Helps explain how to nurture a child's mind-body connection, rather than managing their behaviors. Regulation in a child's physical body supports healthy relationships and loving interactions, in turn building the infrastructure that eventually enables the child to use reasoning and thinking to flexibly manage life's challenges.
  • A history of the nursing industry, documenting how nursing went from a ubiquitous practice — home, family and spiritually based — to a profession. DiGregorio does a beautiful job showing the role nursing played in the development of civilization — whether or not you heard about them, nurses were always there.
  • She could indict her mother, as many memoirists do, but instead, she shares the texture of her mother's life. It seems inevitable that the details you offer your child today are remembered later, long after you die, when your child is old. These writers remember their mother's texture — the way you might remember a writer's imprint on you, whiffs of words that haunted you or held you.
  • Like many books on life transitions for women other than parenting, this ought to be required reading. By 2030, the United States will need between 5.7 and 6.6 million caregivers to support the sick and aging. The questions of nuance and cultural awareness in care for the elderly are ones we are nowhere near ready for.
  • Most things in the world are not unexpected if one thinks carefully about them. Even something one would call unusual — if one thinks about it, it's really just a thing that was supposed to happen. Encountering unusual events often means you didn't think things through.
Chapter 02
What comes after work?
Care as the organizing principle of daily life

What fills the space when work stops defining you? This chapter follows what happens when you step out of career-centered life — by choice, by necessity, or by the slow realization that it was never the right container. It's about the invisible labor that was always there underneath: the care of children, elders, neighbors, and communities that happened while everyone was looking elsewhere. What does it cost to do that work seriously? What does it give back? And why has it taken so long to count?

Library
  • The best book to end the year with because Le Guin's approach to life helped me punctuate so much of what I was metabolizing — most importantly, that common human work is fuel for writing and art. Responsibility is a privilege. If you delegate that work to others, you've copped out of the very source of your writing, which after all is life.
  • Resolving work-life conflicts is as vital for individuals and families as it is essential for realizing the country's productive potential. The federal government largely ignores the connection between individual work-life conflicts and more sustainable economic growth. Business and government treat the most important things in life — health, children, elders — as matters for workers to care for entirely on their own time and dime.
  • A memoir of pioneering feminist economist Devaki Jain, whom I met for the first time at our recent conference in Geneva. "So much of our society seems to me to rest on the assumption of a wife working quietly away in the background, anticipating the needs of others and fulfilling them without resentment."
  • One of the most impactful books I've read. If there's anything I've learned, it's how much you can get away with by saying work. It's almost concerning.
  • Whether you think AI and automation will be great or terrible for humanity, it's important to remember that none of this is predetermined. Executives, not algorithms, decide whether to replace human workers. There is no looming machine takeover. It's just people, deciding what kind of society we want.
Chapter 03
What comes after me?
Intergenerational stewardship

What do we leave behind, and for whom? This chapter is about inheritance in the broadest sense — not just what we pass to our children but what we owe the people who come after us, what we received from those who came before, and how we hold that across generations without being crushed by it. It's about the texture of people we carry inside us long after they're gone — parents, grandparents, teachers, writers — and what it means to tend those relationships across time and distance. It's also about the systems we're inheriting and what we're obligated to do with them.

Library
  • There is a line in Crying in H Mart where Michelle's mom tells her that she always keeps a small percentage of herself only for herself, in her marriage. I adored this idea when I encountered it because I, too, have always been someone who refuses to allow anyone in entirely. There was always something to protect.
  • In a world that feels like it's on the precipice of irrevocable culture change due to emerging tech, Hess holds up a clear mirror to our most intimate digital habits. The soothing allure of our phones during vulnerable moments, the intensity with which we can experience a "what if" just because we can go down a rabbit hole.
  • From the earliest days of our friendship, we were each fascinated by the way the other organized her thoughts and ideas, and we wanted to know each other's opinion about every single thing. This feeling has never faded away. Even today as we talk to each other, we swear we can feel ourselves sharpening in real time.
  • A breathtaking book. I finished it while doing the 100 Day Project — a gentle, wonderful way to explore an in-between, be it in a project, a turning season, or life in general.
  • On the surface, Emily Dickinson lived an ordinary life — when she died, her death certificate listed her occupation as "at home." Her internal world, however, was extraordinary. She loved passionately, wrote scores of letters, anguished over abandonment, fought with God, found ecstasy in nature, and created 1,789 poems that she tucked into a dresser drawer.
Chapter 04
What comes after news?
Tending shared reality as civic care

Journalism gave me a framework for understanding the world, and then that framework slowly stopped working. This chapter is about what comes after the news — not the industry but the function. How do communities make shared sense of things without institutions telling them what to pay attention to, and what gets lost when that infrastructure collapses? I spent fifteen years as a journalist and news literacy educator. What I kept seeing: the practices that actually worked were coming from artists, organizers, librarians, and neighbors. Not newsrooms. This chapter is about that gap and what fills it.

Library
  • To be a moral journalist, you must retain your humanity. Journalism is about channeling emotions, not turning them off. Part of your challenge will be to learn and master what you don't know rather than to hide behind your ignorance. It takes time to hear out the innermost truth of individuals.
  • Empathy is less a trait and more a skill that can be practiced. He walks through how we evolved to be capable of empathy, why it's feeling harder than ever, and different ways people have exercised it. People who avoid empathy often hurt themselves in the process — individuals who empathize with others attract friends more easily, experience greater happiness, and suffer less depression.
  • The way we're able to think about information is dramatically affected by the state we're in when we encounter it. Cognition doesn't take place entirely in the brain, but through a mix of neural, bodily and environmental processes. Those of us who are more in touch with our internal sensations can make better use of the wisdom and experience stored in our body.
  • The packaging of intellectual positions and views is one of the most active enterprises of some of the best minds of our day. The viewer, listener, or reader does not make up his own mind at all. Instead, he inserts a packaged opinion into his mind, somewhat like inserting a cassette into a cassette player.
Chapter 05
What comes after AI?
Human infrastructure underneath disruption

I'm not anti-tech. I think the binary between technologists and humanists is nonsensical. But I'm deeply interested in what AI is doing to the invisible systems underneath daily life — the care, the attention, the judgment that can't be automated and increasingly isn't being paid for. The question I keep returning to: what does AI optimize away, and what does that cost? Not in productivity terms but in human terms. The people who know this best aren't AI researchers. They're caregivers, teachers, community organizers, artists — people who do the work that has no metric. This chapter is an ongoing inquiry. The Companion Machines series is its notebook.

Library
  • An invitation to rethink how we interact with the built world through a series of stories from the lived experiences of disability and the innovations that emerged from them. Disability reveals just how unfinished the world really is, in its mundane forms and in its most aspirational politics.
  • We can learn to work and speak when we are afraid in the same way we have learned to work and speak when we are tired. For we have been socialized to respect fear more than our own needs for language and definition, and while we wait in silence for that final luxury of fearlessness, the weight of that silence will choke us.