What
Comes
After

A book in five editions, written in public. On what happens when the professions, systems, and structures we relied on to navigate life begin to dissolve — and what we build in their place.

These five questions arrived mostly in the order I lived them. After becoming a mother, I grew insatiably curious about care — why the work of raising children feels so siloed and underunderstood, when social reproduction is more foundational to culture and economy than almost anything else. Then came work: like many mothers, I began grappling with what it means to return to paid labor when childcare costs nearly as much as the salary it enables, and what it costs to step away. News came next. As a journalist who has always had questions about the media industry, I began to understand information less as a product and more as a means to wellbeing and agency — especially as the information landscape transformed around me. Then AI, because I live in San Francisco, at the center of that particular disruption, and as someone grounded in thinking about both humanism and productivity, I've become urgently curious about what it will mean to navigate life alongside intelligent tools as the social structures we relied on simultaneously crumble.

And then, woven through all of it: the question of me. AI has surfaced something I didn't expect — big questions about what it means to know yourself, trust yourself, locate yourself when the tools around you are becoming more capable and the structures less reliable. This has coincided, not accidentally, with being the parent of a young child and the child of aging parents at the same time. The sandwich generation question turns out to be an identity question. What comes after me feels like the right place to end.

Each chapter contains essays, books, and personal notes on one question. The chapters are being developed in sequence, beginning with Chapter 01. New essays are published here as the thinking develops — earlier thinking lives in my newsletter, Time Spent. Completed chapters will be available in print through Time Spent Press.

Chapter 01
What comes after birth?
Mothering as public practice

Observing a young child emerge has made me want to better understand our biological foundations. And being siloed in the domestic sphere has made me want to better understand care work for the public consequences it has — what feminists have long called social reproduction. This chapter is about what happens to your identity, your body, your partnerships, and your sense of time when you take on the work of raising another person. It's also about how those lessons, examined honestly, turn out to be foundational lessons for all of public life.

Library
  • I picked this up because I have a very active, very vocal new toddler and wanted something grounding. As a child of immigrants, most of what I do intuitively as a mom isn't as American as I thought. A child-centered life is actually unnatural in human history. The mechanism that makes cooperation possible is equanimity, not as a personality trait but as a practice.
  • Probably the best parenting book out there right now. Helps explain how to nurture a child's mind-body connection, rather than managing their behaviors. Regulation in a child's physical body supports healthy relationships and loving interactions, in turn building the infrastructure that eventually enables the child to use reasoning and thinking to flexibly manage life's challenges.
  • A history of the nursing industry, documenting how nursing went from a ubiquitous practice — home, family and spiritually based — to a profession. DiGregorio does a beautiful job showing the role nursing played in the development of civilization — whether or not you heard about them, nurses were always there.
  • She could indict her mother, as many memoirists do, but instead, she shares the texture of her mother's life. It seems inevitable that the details you offer your child today are remembered later, long after you die, when your child is old. These writers remember their mother's texture — the way you might remember a writer's imprint on you, whiffs of words that haunted you or held you.
  • Like many books on life transitions for women other than parenting, this ought to be required reading. By 2030, the United States will need between 5.7 and 6.6 million caregivers to support the sick and aging. The questions of nuance and cultural awareness in care for the elderly are ones we are nowhere near ready for.
  • Most things in the world are not unexpected if one thinks carefully about them. Even something one would call unusual — if one thinks about it, it's really just a thing that was supposed to happen. Encountering unusual events often means you didn't think things through.
Chapter 02
What comes after work?
Care as the organizing principle of daily life
In development
Chapter 03
What comes after news?
Tending shared reality as civic care
In development
Chapter 04
What comes after AI?
Humanity in an intelligent world
In development
Chapter 05
What comes after me?
Identity, aging, and intergenerational care
In development